If it tastes like fire
by Faceslikemine16
Summary: Welcome to the 69th annual Hunger Games, and may the odds be ever in your favour... "Who's the person you love most?" He asked his eyes a beautiful sea green blaze into mine, I try not to shake. "Annie," I say "my cousin Annie." "Dead," His finger slices across his throat "Dead if you don't do what they say, do you understand now?"
1. Chapter 1

**A/N So in Mockingjay they come up with the idea to write a book about the previous tributes and I thought this could be an extract. Also I know Annie and Diana have the same last name even though they are related through their mothers, but **

**1. I am really bad at coming up with names**

**2. I thought it could be a district four tradition **

**Anyway please enjoy reviews are very much welcome (eventual Annie x Finnick) x**

I was almost sixteen when they reaped me it was the 69th hunger games.

'Ladies first?" The silly bitch trilled.

District four is a career's district but it's fairly rare for a girl to volunteer. No-one did they read out my name.

"Diana Cresta,"

My cousin Annie grasped at my hand through the barrier that separated us she was a year younger than me we looked rather similar back then she was prettier though I the more striking. Tears streamed down her cheeks, I couldn't cry I knew I was going to die.

"Oh god, oh god,"

There is no God, there is the capitol.

My father was a sailor, he hoped in a few years to be a ship captain. We were not rich, we were not poor either nothing like the poverty of district twelve. I was his only daughter my elder brothers had grown up looking after their own necks not foolish enough to volunteer, they had married had decent jobs as sailors as well we lived life like the capitol did not exist. I would be a fool to say I wasn't beautiful. My mother before she died told me stories about Mer creatures and water goddesses. She said there was watery blood in our veins. I had district four good looks mother of pearl skin, enormous sea blue eyes and waist length black wavy hair. He hoped, my father I would marry a rich man hope for a better life pretend that every year for a few seconds I risked my children's lives. None of that mattered when I was reaped I wasn't a person any more I was a tribute.

Annie gave me several kisses and a large misshapen pearl that glows pink in the sun, I only let her and my father silent and stable in, I spurned my sobbing school friends and Annie's mother the Aunt who looks and smells so much like my own mother I can't bear the thought of her.

My fellow tribute Dale was tall and huge with too small a face like all career tributes overgrown physically, under grown intellectually and emotionally. He gripped Finnick the ridiculously handsome bronze mentor's hand and ignored Mags the old woman with fiery blue eyes, I shook her hand and ignored Finnick if I was going to die I thought I may as well die without him and all the career idiots. I blamed them then. They were the ones who turned it into a game into a festival a competition.

"Shall we eat?" Finnick's eyes are on me, I can't escape him. We sit, Mags gives me a small smile.

"So tell me about yourselves," Finnick drawled

I let Dale talk for the next couple of minutes he's been trained likes lifting weights. I don't really listen I can barely eat I peck.

"What about you sweetheart," He grabs my plate and piles it up placing it back down in front of me.

"Hobbies, interests…?" He trails off seeing my expression and grins a little wider and glances up at Dale.

"You done mate? Better get some rest," Dale complies scrapes back the chair and walks to the sleeping quarters with a fierce grin at me.

"Alright Diana," He leaned over to me "Eat up your never going to win if you go into the arena half starved."

"I'm not going to win anyway." I said stiffly,

"Hmm," He says nothing else for quite some time. "I think your wrong I've seen you run."

Running was my love, I was the fastest in my class, and my feet flew through water, earth and air. I ran and ran but I couldn't run fast enough from the capitol or from the hunger games.

"Don't try," I say to Finnick "Please don't try,"

"It's my job," He says charmingly, "You can pretend like it's not happening or you can face up to it. The choice is yours."

I looked down at my plate and played with my food.

"As you like Diana, but one thing at the capitol for all the blood lust they like things to be pretty and nice. They'll take care of the first one; see what you can do about the second."

At the capitol they strip me of my clothes and hair, I can't help hating my prep team they look awful blue skinned, luminous wigged, tattooed and whiskered I hate them as they titter and giggle, I hate them as they soothe and adore, I hate them I can't help it. They rub my skin with a shimmering lotion, gild over my eyes huge and dramatic with silver and a pale blue and green eye shadow. Stick on huge black lacy lashes paint my lips a watery silver blue. I go half naked they braid my dark hair with pearls and gold net and hide my breasts under the curtain of hair. I am a mermaid mother of pearl silk is wrapped around and around from my waist to a long train from my ankles. It's a great year for nudity, but if I am entirely honest not a great year for nude people the miners from district twelve are painted coal black sallow and hungry looking even under the makeup, the two from district seven the boy over plump and wearing glasses, the girl tall as a tree with long limbs and buck teeth are naked as well leaves gathered in choice places like a painting I saw in school from hundreds of years ago.

"Be nice," Finnick said and I was

I blew kisses I caught roses at the end when the anthem finished playing. Finnick swung me off my chariot.

"I can't walk in this thing," somehow I manage to laugh as I shuffle penguin like after him. He laughs as well and tosses me easily over his shoulder.

"Is Dale getting the same treatment?" I ask looking over at the red haired pasty bulk covered in a gold netted toga.

"No Mags is doing it," He said, we got into the lift together. He gently fingered the clasp on my skirt.

"It looks like I could unwrap you like a present." I don't know what to say, part of me wants him to, so I say nothing. I almost don't want him to touch me, I moved away from him in the elevator.

"I'm going to die," I said

"Everyone does," He says easily

"Soon,"

"Maybe not, if you listen to me."


	2. Chapter 2

** A/N Hiya thank you for the follows I would really like some reviews to make sue this isn't too shit :L Enjoy x**

At the first training I saw the other tributes properly, I can't remember their names now but I still can see them. We watched them Finnick, Mags and I for about fifteen minutes before Dale managed to persuade Finnick to help him. I could tell they were pleased about something, I guessed what it might be Finnick's strength and beauty had won him the games four years ago. I was lucky the other classic suspects for beauty and popularity district two and one had come up duff. The boy from district one if it hadn't been for the blonde hair looked exactly like Dale a thug, the girl looked like a smaller but not much version of him. The district two almost the same too many teeth, there had been a famine for the last three summers the tributes from district nine, ten, eleven and twelve were scrawny and had too little teeth. District three small and clever looking nervous though, districts five both under fourteen dear god. The others fade from my mind, with the exception of a gorgeous ebony skinned girl with fantastic curly hair, shining eyes and slight smile I was the prettiest one there.

Dale hogged Finnick for the first two hours I sat identifying plant, knotting knots and making traps survival skills my fingers learning things my mind couldn't and didn't care about. Mags sat by me after awhile I soon learnt. She could make a fish hook out of anything reminding me of my youngest elder brother who was particularly practical with his hands. I hadn't seen her hunger games so I wasn't sure how she won, she couldn't have hooked people right? I never asked often regretted it. We went through knots and all that fairly quick as I had grown up hiding behind my fathers and brothers legs on fishing boats I had basic background knowledge. I showed her my pearl Annie gave me, and she found a place where it would be good to drill through I made a necklace from a thin bit of rope and tied it using a new reef knot. She puts it around my neck and tucks it away so it sits over my heart. I was dreading attention from Finnick

He came back later, play punching Dale on the shoulder it was normal particularly districts like mine to have four mentors. I could see Dale was nervous as well as disappointed to be left with Mags and he abandoned her quickly. Finnick turned up every year the capitol could not get enough of him, but it could be no coincidence that others had failed to turn up. Though I heard a rumour that two victors were pregnant and another two unwell, something told me there might have been a tip-off that districts four was not going to do very well this year so they had decided not to bother. On the other hand seeing Haymitch the comic relief and the district twelve mentor trips over his feet for the fourth time I think we could have done a lot worse

"You're up, Dana." Finnick says.

"Don't call me that,"

"Diana's a bit of a mouthful… Dina?"

I sighed heavily "Fine, fine Dana."

I try not to remember only Annie and my mother have ever called me that

"Knife work?" He suggests, sticking a handle in my hand

"Throwing or stabbing?" I say as he leads we over to station a bulls eye planted on a human torso are on every wall.

"I'd like to see you throw," He said.

As it turned out I was pretty good at throwing after the first two attempts I hit the heart every time in some way it was like tossing pebbles feeling the strength in your arm knowing somehow before it hits that the smooth pebble will skim through the waves. Finnick looked impressed. I liked that, he ran his fingers through his hair and smiled.

"You have a good eye hand eye co-ordination that is, we can try a bow later I think you'll be pretty good at that as well, right let's try something else."

Something else was actual fighting. The trick was learning how to throw Finnick said this time it was someone off you. So I tried and tried I shoulder rolled and flipped as he threw me about, but after about ten times I lay on my back and refused to get up.

"Get up sweetheart," He said holding out his hand for me.

"It's"

"If you say it's useless I might actually kill you, up!" He commanded again,

I got up without taking his hand and glared.

"Go and take a break," he said "Then we'll try again."

At the end of the day I felt incredibly sore and useless, I got in the shower and didn't get out for an hour I can't remember why by the time my Avox a doe eyed blonde girl came to find me I was sitting on the floor of the shower almost unmovable She makes me get out I try not to shake too much at dinner. They looked worried Finnick and Mags, Dale looks happy they've been talking about me on the news too much after last night the mermaid girl, if I wnt mad that hardly mattered anymore.

The next day it's more of the same Finnick wants to see me run, I don't understand why he hasn't identify me as a last cause and concentrates on Dale another huge block head if a marginally less pretty one perhaps he's snobbish. I tell him so as we get to the race track and he laughs. I run it's nice for a bit my trainers slapping against the black spongy floor, I beat him even which was refreshing,

"I can't show off running for the games maker." I said coolly

"No but you can agility, at any rate I would rather you show how well you can throw or rather hit." He raised an eyebrow and does the thing he always did moves far too close to me, "That's the point after all."

After the next few days of training I can shoot and I can throw knives as far as weapons go but I'm still useless at combat Finnick tries for an hour in the morning, it does not work.

"Go back to Mags," He said at last. I sit down by Mags,

"They've heard your fast," She said gesturing at the other career tributes giving us side glances "They want you on side."

"Say yes," I say, even if they do slit my throat the minute I fall asleep.

"After the scores," She says comfortably and gives me a fish hook made from twine.

"How do you do it?" I ask then change my mind "Why do you?"

"You can always make something from anything, there are patterns you would not believe, remember that while you're in the arena, see if you can try and find home." She patted my hand, I decided she was mad very nice but mad. Maybe that's the best I could ask for.

Five minutes later I threw Finnick to the ground for the first time, he smiled lazily up at me

"Well done darling," I try not to look pleased.

"Stay down there." I said "You'll be more useful."

He laughs and clambers up, "I think you're ready"

I don't remember feeling afraid when they sent me to the Game Makers. We were fairly early on so I don't have to wait.

For fifteen minutes I threw knives at dummies I did it fast to make it go quicker one after the other after the other like I was juggling. The games maker's smiled at me with too white teeth.

"Thank you," The silly affected Capitol accent "Thank-you Ms Cresta,"

We sat altogether Finnick's arm trailing around the back of the sofa close to my shoulder. A cluster of eights, nines and one ten for District One and Two,

"It's funny," I say "The smaller number your district the larger your score it's a sort of inverse ratio

Dale glares at me with hard eyes, he doesn't care. A four and a six for district three not brilliant. Dales name flashes up, we lean forward: eight.

"Great," Mags said

"Yes good one." Finnick said with a winning smile

Silence again my name Diana Cresta… nine.

"Well done,"

There was pure narrow hate in Dale's eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N Evanescence853 thank you so much for your review probably the most useful one I've ever had. Yeah I did think I was rushing Finnick and Diana a bit reading back. It's interesting that you think Diana and Finnick should end up together I don't want to give everything away but Annie won't come in for a bit yet so you'll have to tell me what you think as the relationship develops ect… Anyway I hope this is an improvement and I'm glad you like it so far x **

I rather liked Caesar Flickerman for the three minutes I sat with him lounging in the shiny black interview chair. When I got up and left I hated him I had done the maths he had been host for twelve years he had seen two hundred and seventy-three children to their deaths with same cheap laughs and gleaming teeth by the time this was over it would be two hundred and ninety-six. There was blood on his hands and he was guilty, as guilty as President Snow.

_"Flirt," Finnick said earlier the same charming smile "be nice- if you can, smile but be brusque, sarcastic you're good at that, they like someone with a bit of… spunk"_

_"To thine self be true." I muttered, quoting a book my mother had owned, my mother's family had been rather rich once there was a rumour that they had even lived in the capitol a while back before the hunger games started. The money had all gone except for my mother's precious and forbidden books. And now they were gone as well, my father had burnt them the day she died_

_"What?"_

_"Oh nothing," I said,_

_I don't want to flirt not the kind that comes so easily to him; the capitol has repulsed me since I came here, I don't want to be their friend._

_I glared at him does he ever stop smiling?_

_Mags tells me to try my best make the most of the lime light, it's all a game and I need sponsors she doesn't sugar coat it and I liked that._

I wore a dress black, striking against my pale skin, it is long with long sleeves and a low scooped back, clingy they brush and brush at my hair till it was a tumble of curls down my neck and wove pearls into it. The dress though black is very nearly sea through and patterned with darker material like the intricate markings of a conch shell. The marks left by barnacles. They painted my lips a red like old blood, my shoes towering high so I was even taller than six foot Finnick, were the same colour.

He smiled even more than Finnick bright white teeth as per usual too shiny, repulsive. Shocking bright green hair and eyelids paler shades a little too much like bruising for my personal taste. In his usual winning way he kissed my hand and complimented me on my outfit on the chariot.

"A mermaid, how original," I drawled.

They laughed,

"But you looked very beautiful,"

Murmurs of agreement

I smiled the cute little pout I had practised, well almost copied off Finnick slightly naughty "Why thank-you,"

"And looking extraordinarily beautiful tonight,"

I smooth out my dress over my knees run my fingers over the smooth and rough material "You see tonight I'm a sea creature, it's _very"_ I nibble at my painted bottom lip very deliberately. "Different."

The audience tittered.

So did Caesar lolling back in his chair clapping his hands, "So, so Diana how do you feel about your nine? Very impressive puts you in the top three,"

"Well, I'm happy of course as long as I don't end up with one of those horrible spiked bludger things in my neck they had last year I can imagine I'll stay happy."

They laughed again.

He held my hand out to the crowd, my arm straight up in the air, I smiled and I smiled.

"Well done, they loved you," Mags said, I couldn't smile anymore, so I hugged her instead I'm not going to hug anyone again I thought

"It might be ok," She murmurs always sitting on the fence never quite swaying. Neither quite optimistic nor pessimistic,

"Or it might not."

I didn't bother watching the other interviews I didn't really care I really didn't have any desire to get to know the children I would be killing and the ones who would be killing me. I didn't even want to be with Mags anymore and certainly not Finnick the capitol's golden boy. I go back up to the apartment and sit cross legged on my bed waiting my eyes closed, for absolutely nothing. I didn't want that nine, I thought I didn't want the attention, or the hope.

I wonder if they can drag me to the arena. After a long while Finnick comes up. He's flirted with me for the last few days and suddenly I hate him, because I am as good as dying and it's still a game for him, I hate him because last week hearing him call me sweetheart would have melted me, his hand on mine would have sent me into tremors, when he was the gorgeous green-eyed victor who we giggled like school girls over. I hate him because part of me still wants too. The part of me that cannot accept dying, that won't accept this real, the stupid stupid part.

"What's wrong Dana?" I glare hard at him, his mouth twitches to smile again but he doesn't

"Apart from the obvious?" He asks softly

"Leave me alone."

"I want to help you at the moment and not just because your score makes you my best bet and I have been a mentor for almost four years and I want a survivor this time because I think you can win, I really do"

District One won the year after Finnick, then district two for two consecutive years a brother and a sister. Is it rigged I wondered, and then I remember our lack of mentors if it is then it certainly isn't district fours turn.

"Is that all," I say "Is that all you care about?"

He won't say anything for a long while,

"Yes, I'm sorry it's the games all you can do is win,"

"I want to kill myself." I say and suddenly I am shaking "I really would rather than, if one of them…" I break off

He takes my hand in his threads his fingers through mine and squeezes.

"No you don't" He said. "You act like your living in a bubble you don't seem to be able to see your strengths, you have allies, and you're popular it could work…Dana."

His green eyes are so bright so lovely I put my face into my free hand and groan hard.

"You better start wanting it, wanting to survive."

There's a pill in my hand when he takes his away.

"It'll help you sleep," He said and left

I dreamt of the sea roaring of waves, salt, my mother and Finnick. I dreamt and dreamt of the waves the dramatic beauty of district four; I fell and fell through the water until I almost felt safe. When I wake up I'm still thinking of them and I refuse to forget. I close my eyes tight as they lead me to my changing , I dress silently my hard eyes stopped even my chatty stylist making conversation he puts me in a sort of unitard thing my hair is problematic too long he braids it and then rolls it into a bun. Finnick sneaks in, before they lead me to the helicopter.

"Good luck Dana," He's not smiling anymore,

"Water," I say smoothing my fingers over my forehead, pushing my dark hair back more

He nods "Water shelter and allies, remember"

"I will," I said "Can you tell them I love them, my family."

"Tell them yourself," He said "And remember…"

He smiles and then so quickly I barely register it brushes his mouth across mine. Hard and fast, oh god, oh god. He leaves and I wait, because I'm selfish I know I want to come back and I know I want to survive I want to… Sitting in the helicopter stony faced I gently finger the hard lump of my tracker, my pulse I can survive. I will,


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N Hiya thank you for the follows please tell me what you thinl! x**

** Enthused thank you so much! I'm really glad you're enjoying it, **

How can I write about the games? I can barely think about them the tributes I murdered let alone the games themselves. The burning dry heat, the yellow fire, the rough throttling thirst and no one knows but me, I'm the only survivor that's the point,

It was a desert, when I left the arena I saw it properly from a bird's eye view the ragged sunken land orange red dust that completely covered me by the end. But that was later.

This is now. I was the first one to the cornucopia, the fastest after all I grabbed a dagger with a razor sharp edge and twisted just in time to kick off the boy from district eleven about to launch himself at me to the ground he was fast too but thin, it was surprising alarming how easily I could hurt him, I slashed at his throat. His counterpart stared at me and ran into the desert. Ten tributes died in the bloodbath and their blood bright red splattered on the hot sand and dirt. The others fled, leaving the careers and me; no by then I was a murderer, I was one of them as well really. The helicopter came fluttering from the sky and plucked the corpses from the ground in metal cages. I can't help in a tiny way envying them death was far more peaceful than the fear, anything to get out of here. The idea that I might in the end kill myself nagged at my mind again. We were sweating unbearably itching with it; thirsty already there was no water in the rucksacks. Matches, bread there were throwing spiked discs as well as another knife in my bag, some rope and a watch with a leather strap… curious.

I could not join in their bloodthirsty humour their delight with murder as they started collecting squabbling over their weapons _'Squealed like a fucking pig… a fucking pig"._ I was panicking, a desert? I had longed for water but there was nowhere to hide, I did not belong in this landscape I knew was not likely to survive.

A silver parachute flew from the sky as I strapped my watch onto my wrist. The big blonde girl caught it in her large fist.

"District Four." She said tossing at me, dismissively. Dale did not attempt to grab it he knew it was for me. He raised his eyebrows at the boy from district two.

I opened the box inside was a large black canteen I shook it, it sloshed completely full.

_Drink up Mermaid, F_

Finnick's note read. I crumpled it in my fist and gulped at the bottle and replaced it in the dirt so the others could have a go.

"We need to find a proper source of water," I say, once it had gone. I put the empty bottle in my bag and got up. We looked around the empty desert.

"Sure." The girl from district two drawled. We got up and began to walk, stroll, swagger things are looking good for them, us as long as we can secure sponsors and I already have, and there are only the others to worry about. I kept ahead of the pack, try not to think, try not to feel, try not to scream but I could feel their eyes on me after a mile two miles of barren dirt; I looked at my watch: high tide. I thought it was automatic its Tuesday high tide.

.And then the fire began. It shot through the dust and sullen grey sky in a large yellow ball I threw myself on my hands and knees and collapsed onto my face in the explosion shot over the back of my neck, so hot.

Dale was at the back of the pack he screamed a raw hard sound and a canon blasted. Anyone could see the strength of our ties and alliance just then as we scattered and ran from each other. Dale I saw him in the split second I turned my face laid there flat ash black and lumpy. It lasted an hour, the waves of fire balls, there was nowhere to hide we couldn't stop running and ducking. Fear, Fear electrifying fear, as it ended, the canon went off again. I saw another burnt body in my mind's eye.

"Half dead already." I said,

"Good," Says the boy from district two they glance at me to see if I am mourning Dale, but I can't and I won't, they're not either so much for allies I slump to the ground and stroke the strap of my watch, coincidence? Surely not I remember what Mags said. Find home…and I'm the only one who knows when the next explosion of fire and heat will come back, if I am right. Dale is dead the only other person who could have spotted the pattern, who would have learnt the timetable at school. The next high tide 2.05 am.

We find no water but another parachute arrives from the sky this time for the district one boy and we share again. We hunted scruffy ratty things which hid under large rocks which I skin best I can with my knife we cook them over a fire one of the rucksacks had matches and for lack of anything else to do returned to the cornucopia I wondered if the Capitol were bored. The venue was not especially interesting, we were dying so quickly.

It started getting dark at nine. The Capitol's anthem echoes from the skies the fallen I look at my hands instead of Dale and the two tributes I killed. The district One girl noticed she curled her lip. At ten they started settling down the fire extinguished clutching curled around at their weapons like toys.

"I'll take first watch." I said immediately

This was met with dark suspicious glances but at last they shrugged. I was the smallest one there I couldn't kill them all. The only thing I could do was run off and then what did it matter? One less ally is one less person to turn on you at close quarters.

Could it be right? Could I be right? If I wasn't then I might as well run off. I wasn't going to survive in a fight between me and the careers they were far far too big. I couldn't let it get that far. I had sponsors the quick response this morning proved that I would do better without this uneasy alliance.

The minutes ticked past I can't think I can't be real here, I can't be myself or I'll go mad a shiver rattles down my spine I think I might be going mad already. Who am I? I'm not a murderer I wasn't a murderer yesterday. I was supposed to wake District two at one but I didn't of course. I didn't really want to move. Two o clock, I stood up it was really quite chilly at night

One minute, I put on my rucksack, my hand tightened around my knife. I talk three silent steps away from him.

Two minutes past. Another step and another I more delicately up the little slope behind the cornucopia. Onto higher ground, the district one girl opens her eyes we stare at each other for a moment. She hurls her axe at me. I duck easily. But the large grunt she gave as she hurled the axes, they scramble up and the dust, dark grey in the night rises around them. For a moment they stare at me. Then the fire comes with a rattling sound and engulfs them and I run and run and run, a burning tongue licks at my shoulder and I scream and land trip head over heels down a steep hill and into a hollow bit. I don't really want to stay here although my shoulder feels like agony. If the flames and fire balls come here it'll become a death trap. But it doesn't I squat in the shade of the hollow and watch the world around me burn. The canon goes off four times, before it's over the canon has gone four times. All the careers are dead, all of them except for me.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N, Hi guys thank you for the review, keep them coming! x**

** IAmTheRedMaskHeWears Thank-you. Don't worry I'm not offended I am unashamedly awful at grammar spelling ect. My English teacher once handed me back an essay and asked me if I was dyslexic, awkward not really just lazy. I have read this through properly and I hope this is an improvement, when I'm feeling psyched I'll have a go at the other chapters, **

** Evanescence853 I know total bad-ass, to be honest I don't think she ever really wanted to be part of the careers pack and was just taking the innovative. I love Finnick so, so much saw Catching Fire for the second time yesterday. Argh Finnick! Unfortunately he is not in this chapter.**

There were nine of us left and not even twenty-four hours had passed, the idea that I might be victorious hung both too far away and too close for comfort. I was sent cream straight away, applied it to the rough patch of blisters on my back, the relief as it came when I tentatively rubbed the pale pearly gooey stuff onto my back could have killed me.

It was still dark and I had no idea what to do I was by myself now. I sat there, high tide 5pm surely there had to be water somewhere I didn't want too afraid to sleep. I didn't trust the arena in the slightest. Remembering the agony of walking in the full heat yesterday, I set off straight away knife in hand a throwing disc in the other. I began to walk. By midday I was dreaming of water, Finnick had given me another canteen, but it did not stop oasis's floating dreamily in front of my eyes. I reached for them, dry, barren fucking dessert. After this happened for the third time I had fallen into a fall blown sprint rushed up to the bright watery blue edge and my fingers touch coarse sand. I screamed in frustration. I thought I was going mad; I couldn't afford to go mad, too look mad. I sank into a tiny pale grey patch of shade created by a few unhealthy looking palm trees. I couldn't imagine this was going down well with the Capitol home of bloodthirsty beauty the arena was too ugly.

I slept without really meaning too restlessly I thought I was in the fire, someone screamed. Two girls danced against the desert skyline in blue and green colours that don't their arms glistening with droplets of water in the desert.

_Look Dana, I've found a pearl!_

_ Oh, Annie let me see!_

_Isn't it pretty?_

_You can make a wish on that._

_What would you wish for?_

_True love, I say trying to keep my voice both dreamy and grown-up. Annie crumpled up her face._

_I wish, I wish, I wish that the hunger games would stop forever._

_Shh! Annie you're not allowed…_

The nightmare didn't end when I woke up. Mainly because I had barely left reality, I got up slowly blinking yellow sleep out of my eyes. I glanced at my watch: 3:45pm. I pushed my hair back from my forehead my skin felt rough and dusty I shook out some water from my canteen and washed my hands.

As I knocked back the last mouthful of water my throat still felt chaffed, I turned my face up to the sky and widened my eyes and pouted.

A silver parachute swooped from the sky. I blew a kiss up at the sky and tore open the silver container. Bread tinged green, smelling like the sea. I breathed it in, smelt home and tore into it.

A figure darted from out the bushes. It was the pretty girl from district eleven, her curly ringlet hair held back with a head band a smudge of blood on her high cheekbone. She looked at me with wild frightened eyes I was the enemy, I had killed her fellow tribute. I was fucking dangerous and I didn't want to kill her, not at all. She looked over her shoulder to see if she could outrun me and back again. The only weapon she carried was an axe that looked too heavy for her: I could see her thinking. I'll have to drop it if I run. If I run, she'll put a knife in my back, should I stay and fight?

We stared at each other for a few moments. I glanced down at the torn hunk of bread in my hand and chucked it at her. I sat on the ground and wrapped my arms around my legs. After awhile seeing that this was either, the stupidest ambush plan or the cleverest she picked it up and sat down beside me.

"Lila," She said through a mouthful of bread

"Diana…" There was a pause in my mind's eye I slit the boys throat again and again, "I'm sorry I killed him-"

"Jasper, we were friends." She paused and stopped eating her voice heavy with unspent grief.

I don't know what to say, you're not supposed to sit around and apologize the words are clunky and awkward in my head and in my mouth.

. "I'm sorry, I'm…"

"Don't be someone had to do it at least it was quick,"

Someone had too but I did it. I can hear the splatter of his blood feel its warmth on my fingers. I shudder.

"Look" I say, "I don't really want allies…"

She interrupts "All the careers are dead did you do it?"

I smile the same wicked smile I used for the capitol on the night of the interview.

"Would would you think if I told you I did?"

"I'd be glad,"

I looked at my watch 4:15, "The fire will be here soon, we need to find some place to shelter."

"How do you know?" She asked curiously.

"I just do."

Her dark brown eyes find mine, "I have shelter," she says.

The place she described a dirt cave, rather like the cranny I hid in the night before, gave me doubts straight away.

"It was fine the first two times I hid there," She promised.

"Third time unlucky," I say, she laughs.

"Maybe,"

We carry on walking, I half wonder if she knows where we're going if she hasn't got us lost. But she strides ahead regardless

"Have you seen anyone?" I ask, "Any other tributes?"

She shakes her head, "We all ran off from you in different directions" She sighs "It is not a very good year for cunning killers. I think everyone thinks if they can last out the flames and exposure they'll survive let everyone else kill each other off."

"A good tactic," I said,

"Just as long as everyone else isn't doing the same thing," We snort together.

We had arrived at a patch of craggy smashed land, more dips and slopes. I followed her down a narrow path, to the other side of the lumpy hill.

"Here, just around here, shit! Diana!" The white-hot flaming ball missed me by inches as Lila's hand closed around my wrist and yanked me out the way and into the dark, cool underbelly of her cave. I look at her in wide-eyed amazement.

"Thank-you,"

She stiffened immediately at the word.

"I mean it." I look outside, the mouth of the cave is kidney shaped, like a malformed clown's smile. The fire burns outside sometimes sparks tiny drops of golden ember like tangible fireworks skip in. Lila watches it too, she is tall and she is beautiful but sitting on the ground her head and arms on her knees. She looks like a child.

"How old are you?" I ask I reach behind me to undo the knot at the back of my neck. She crawled over and knelt up to upbraid my hair for me.

"Fourteen."

I should have expected it. The boy I killed, _Jasper_ was only about thirteen-fourteen if they had been friends…

Fourteen, fifteen there is barely any difference, but I can hardly keep the horror out of my voice as I repeat it.

"_Fourteen_," She stops with my hair, "I'm sorry it's just so young."

"We're all young," She says "We are all so young. You really have beautiful hair," She strokes her fingers through my dark curls.

"I prefer yours." I say. We lay back side by side in the dark my hair fans out behind me.

"They dressed you up, like a mermaid for the chariot ride you looked lovely." She says "You looked like something from a story my mum used to tell me."

"What was the story?" I ask

"About a mermaid who gave up her tail to be with a human but he hides it from her… I can't remember."

"I do," I say "We have that story in four, it becomes unbearable and in the end and she goes back to the sea."

"Even though she loves him?"

"Especially because of that."

"She told me other things, about fairies as well and how one day I'd grow wings and fly fly away. The peacekeepers thought she was mad because she would go around with a basket collecting stones for me she called them jewels. So they took her away."

I prop myself up on one elbow. There are tears on her cheeks she wipes them away.

"Sorry."

"My mother used to tell me things too," I began.

A canon goes off once… twice. I push my mother from my mind.

"Do you think they realise?" Lila asks quietly "The capitol, when we do those stupid interviews and things, that we're actually going to kill each other? Do you think they realise that we're not the fallen but dead dying children? Do you think they ever think about us after it's over?"

There are a thousand eyes in this sky, which the dirt roof of the cave won't protect me from. Her questions are dangerous, my answer even more so. I say nothing I am a coward. The fire outside halts and I get up.

"I'm going to hunt," I said, "It'll be disgusting." I promise, she laughs.

I come back about thirty minutes later, holding the animal by its tail between thumb and forefinger.

She was sitting on top of the slope, she smiled she had such a pretty smile. I heard it before I saw it a slither in the sand. It emerged a large hooded snake a flicker of pink tongue. Then deliberately, too deliberately almost mechanically it sank it's fangs into Lila's neck. I screamed my knife unattached itself from my hand. The snake's body writhed as its tail was unattached from its head still fangs deep in Lila's neck, dark red blood streaming down. I ran to her. Pinched my guts and the snakes head and drew it from her neck. I don't know what to do I have to do something. I put my mouth to the wounds and suck, immediately spat the bitter poison out.

I know it is already too late she is writhing, shaking. I held her.

"It's alright. It's going to be alright." She jerked her head no.

"Please," She rasps.

"What?" Her mouth moves into soundless shapes.

"Water?" I suggest desperately. Then I hear it, what she wants me to do. I put one hand either side of her face and gently kiss her lips. As I come up a canon booms she's dead. I pick up her hands and place one on top of the other on her stomach. I pour water onto my sleeve and clean the wounds and her dusty face and then I leave, I run. There are six of us.


	6. Chapter 6

** A/N Hiya, thank you for the follows favourites ect. I hope this isn't too bad I'm not entirely satisfied so would really really appreciate some feed back over how you think this is going because I'm happy to change stuff. Also I know there hasn't been much Annie yet if that is more your thing then you can check out my one shot (possibly about to become two shot) My Manic and I x**

The third day the last day dawned with fire. I woke early while the sky was still a hazy purple. As the sun came up, while I was hunting I met the boy from district five we both stared at each other for a moment a brief moment a wondered about shouting "Allies?" Across the gap of dessert between us, then he launched himself at me he slashed at my cheek. I threw him off like Finnick taught me what felt like centuries ago, looked down at him with his flyaway red hair and angry, angry eyes. He scrambled up and fell into the flames with my knife in his back.

I slunk bleeding like a snake into the cave I patch myself back up slowly. Lila floats ghost like in my mind's eye. Too fucking painful, I try to push her away I don't win. We don't talk about the Capitol or the games where possible back home, admittedly in district four our sons and daughters were not ripped from our arms like the other districts more often than not they were trained or at least the boys were. You are born to fear it the games that is the point of them. They are too scary for a child so you force yourself to pretend they do not exist, twelve is such a long way off after all, by the time your fourteen you have grown cynical about the whole thing it is another way to protect yourself. You realise there is nothing you can do and with sour humour surrender to it.

Until you have to fight, then it changes.

My cousin Annie was the opposite. She saw past the initial paralysing fear of the games and into the sadness of it all. She never pretended the fear was not there that they did not exist. She was like Lila in that respect.

Sitting in the cave fire burning outside, I can barely concentrate my greatest weapon I realise now is my tongue. If I had said no, I would be dead too, maybe that would be better. Maybe, maybe.

Coward, Coward, Coward. If only there was a way of killing district, five and then killing myself before the capitol could get to me. The only fore see able problem with the plan an act of outrageous defiance was that I would not be around to see the consequences, for sure the deaths of Finnick, Mags and all my family. I closed my eyes, oh just get me out of here. Stop me thinking.

Before the flames went off the canon had fired another time, I wondered how popular the games were at the Capitol, and did they really like watching people burn to death? The charred barely human bodies afterwards… no one could mistake those for children.

The only danger I found myself in was waking up under a tree I had collapsed at midday under face to face with a tarantula It scampered away as I gently rose from the ground, not even a mutt I had to say I was quite disappointed with the game makers. We started dropping like flies after midday. Well I say we, for the mermaid girl from district four, a fish out of water surviving the flames, had the capitol behind her supplies and gifts fell in silver boxes fell from the sky. For lack of anything to do, I walked back to the cornucopia. I walked over two corpses sprawled on the dirt. Swollen cheeks and cracked bitter lips cheeks dotted with jewelled eyed flies. There was no dignity in it. They had been quite broken by the capitol. I could do nothing for them by then I was too tired, from trying not to think.

There were two of us now, I don't want to die, I don't want to die, but I only think that sometimes in reality, care is slipping through my fingers. The boy from district five is out there thinking the same thing praying hoping against hope for the sweet sound of canon. My death feels like a time bomb in me something that will set off any minute at the capitols will. I don't have the energy to fight any more. I wait and wait after awhile it goes dark.

The end when it came was undramatic and surprising only to me, I was collecting the brown shrubs the pathetic things that grew here to build a fire as darkness fell. No scream, not a sound. The canon almost gave me a heart attack. I dropped to my knees, before I realised I had won. The anthem played and the fire started again for a moment I was terrified I could not move. I thought I had miscounted but I had not when it came to hit me it shot straight into the sky away from me. The helicopter flutters down. I have won and it feels awful.

The shortest games in hunger games history that is what I am famous for. That is where my story ends, the pretty girl from district four, who said nothing and thought nothing. Three days I was lucky. I killed my allies straight away, but not in such awful ways that even the capitol was repulsed. I had kissed Lila but had managed to get away with the defiance. Lucky, lucky me.

In the helicopter I am offered congratulations and hands to shake, although I am covered in the orange dust I did so as quickly as possible they repulsed me. The feeling had begun to infect me crawling from a place in my stomach up my throat into my head. Dead uselessness and dead numbness. It hurt it physically hurt. I sat down I wrapped my arms around my legs. I saw their faces, as I grew quieter. Someone gave me a glass of orange juice I huddled over it. It tasted sour. I thought I was going to be sick. I know this is it, the end of everything. So, I don't fight when I feel the needle in my arm.

When I come round for a few moments, I was ok with my eyes shut. I could barely remember who I was. It was lovely. Then I came round properly blinked open my eyes.

"Dana," Finnick was sitting on the side of my bed. We are in the infirmary all white, disgusting smell, with the beep of machines in the air.

"Hi," I said roughly, my voice raspy from under use.

"Sexy." He said raising an eyebrow.

For a moment I smile and then I remember I feel like hell, it comes rushing back I physically stiffen.

"Well done." He says heavy irony in his voice. Well I know I feel like that, but surely Finnick should be different, should be at least a little enthusiastic. I force myself to speak though I do not want to the effort is awful.

"What's the matter?" My voice is so tired. Almost alien to me I cough.

"Ezra, the head game maker's gone." He spoke his lips barely moving "She won't be coming back,"

Fear, in the quite empty hospital room is different from the arena but my heart smashes against my chest. Mixes in with the numb side of me I clench my eyes shut so I can see multi-coloured stars.

"Oh god,"

"I can't pretend the games were very popular." He said his voice calm "Too short, not much of a festival, poorly constructed. But they adored you, particularly when you worked out the pattern to the fire…" He broke off.

"How are you?"

"I don't know really yet," I say, it is almost true. I can't even begin to identify this poisonous, crippling emotion pulsing through me.

"Keep thinking that," He bent over and gently kissed my face. "Don't you dare work out how you're feeling till we get home."

I look up at the ceiling a fan twirls above my head. Home, yes maybe I will feel better when we get home.

When I open my eyes the second time it has gone dark in the large square window outside. I sit up. The feeling has gone I almost miss it. I close my eyes and try to imagine it but nothing comes to mind.

The door opens and Finnick enters.

"Are you supposed to be here?" I ask coolly.

"Not really." He admits. "You aren't as badly damaged as most of them are so you're in lower security. I'm supposed to be arranging your Banquet but Mags and I already started getting that covered when you killed off all the careers."

"Right." I say, and then because I can hardly help myself "I feel strange."

"Strange?" He walks over and picks up a bottle of pills by my bed. "They've given you an anti-depressant."

Oh right it is the capitol all over, if you cannot fake a mood, make a mood.

Finnick sits down. "Have they done any tests?"

"Tests?" I had been barely conscious of any doctors. "I don't know maybe."

"You would know." He promised.

There was something off about him the flirt was gone. I reached up to touch my cheek my skin felt weirdly smooth. When I looked back at him, he was smiling the dimpled charming smile.

Where was I? I had gone from fancying him in the way most district four girls and some of the boys did as a rule of thumb. To almost hating him, too that kiss, too what?

After everything I should not feel as attracted as I am too him. What the fuck does it say about me that everything I can sit here (so much blood) wanting him?

_You are a stupid stupid girl_ I think. Yes I am. Don't work out how you feel, just do it.

We look at each other we are both smiling for different bitter reasons.

"There is something I want to talk to you about." He says and climbs into the bed with me. We do not do much talking.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N Thank you again for all the support, keep it all coming I do adore reviews. Please enjoy x**

**Evanescence853- Don't worry I am not offended at all and I really appreciate your advice you give far better constructive criticism than I can manage. So in this chapter I have tried to develop Diana I don't know how well this is gone (I read in your last update you spent a year developing Maive kudos I have almost no attention span.) I think some of the WTF mystery in the last chapter aside from it being totally rushed (I was aware of that sorry) could be slightly attributed to Diana's state of mind? I hope I have cleared it up a bit in this one. Anyway, thank you so much I hope you enjoy this x**

**Manoella- I can officially announce there will be angst but a bit later and thank you for the review on My manic and I, I'm glad you liked it x**

Lying there, I felt the pill wearing off. We lie side by side perfectly still too still. I don't know what to say the feeling is coming back on again, I close my eyes the pain mixed oddly with numbness comes in again. This is not how I imagined it, but the rose petals and candles version of after sex seems too silly for words when we are here.

The oddest thing that Finnick normally never lost for words is not talking either. I want to ask him why? But the feeling that it would be too exhausting to speak is returning.

For a few minutes, I had lost myself, in pure ecstasy. I could admit that I could certainly admit I had never felt anything like it. I realised I had returned to the mindset from before the games. The empty submission, only this time there was no fear behind it, just tiredness. I had always been cynical and as cold as I could manage. After my mother died, shove everything down Finnick was right don't you dare think, don't you dare feel. My father and brothers although I loved and trusted them as much as I could for my mother's sake were too old, too male and too distant. The people who I had confided in were my cousin, Lila and the green-eyed district four victor, I was very much regretting the last one. We were not talking now.

Had he just used me? I thought, was this the entire point? Had I just been used? A week ago, I would have believed it anything of the too charming, too handsome Finnick Odair.

I remember the kiss, which brought me back to life and the flirty advice in the arena all part of his ruse to get me into bed?

Who thought like that?… the capitol thought like that.

Then had I not used him too? In the version of events, I was imagining I was a lot more vulnerable than in real life. In real life I burnt for him, some vague part of me still did. I was sure that if this had been some kind of triumph Finnick would be crowing.

I sighed heavily and rolled onto my side the movement seems to wake up Finnick as well. He dropped a kiss onto my shoulder.

"This is the part where you're supposed to ask me what I'm thinking."

I could not think of a more stupid question or dangerous one.

"Stupid question." I say.

He laughs and picks something up from the table, he groans. "Shit it's midnight I've got to go."

"Turn into a pumpkin?"

"No I just get far more attractive I don't think you'll be able to handle it." He gets out and pulls back on his clothes very quickly he makes his way to the door and turns back to me with a smile. "I'll see you tomorrow,"

"Yes tomorrow." It did not _seem _quite right as he walked from the room, but it felt as natural, peculiarly natural.

"Thank goodness, you still look pretty" Shut up, shut up. My prep team crawl over me. Earlier the doctors gave me more mood pills with the same false calm effect. I cling to my secret as they chatter. It keeps a smile on my face. Give them some real gossip, if they knew where Finnick Odair had been last night.

I will not think about the arena but for longing of something dark my mind turns to tests, which bothered Finnick so much, they had weighed and measured me and stuck metal instruments, needles and things into me as if they were searching for something. I had decided not to care if he had used me, I would only be able to tell when I got back to district four away from all of this and everything would be ok when I came back to district four. So it would not matter anymore.

"Ezra, so ill poor darling, she can't come to any of the ceremony or the dinner party or anything." She puts her hand too her heart shaped blue lipsticked mouth with horror.

Although I know this 'illness' is terminal, post-terminal.

I say "I hope it's not too serious," I try to squeeze the sarcasm from my voice. All I want is to be to go home or if I am honest go back to Finnick. This is boring me.

They shower me surround me in gorgeous smelling jasmine bubbles and wax me but it is not as painful as before I have had little time to regrow. Covered in a paper dressing gown, they show me the dress. It is beautiful silk, fitted around the bodice nipped in at the waist with a full skirt the colour of the sea blue-black on teal-green, with a silvery sheen covered in pearls and tiny shells. A white lacy under skirt pokes out like foam. It is very short and very sexy. I run my fingers over the material. I put it on, turn, and twist in the mirror. I do not really know what to think, I barely recognize myself, but that is the point they began to give me a new face a rip off, of my make-up on the chariot ride, gild my lids silvers and stick on lacy black lashes.

Finnick again, charms his way in Mags at his heels.

"Oh show him." The women with the blue lipstick coos, they all adore Finnick. Capitol's darling. I smile slightly at him and stand up one hand on my hip in an over sexy pose.

"You can't wear that," He said immediately, but he is not looking at me he is looking at Mags who in turn is looking at him. As if, I am not even there.

"What's wrong? Don't you like it?" I ask immediately coldly, it is not his business whether he likes it or not. Why is he making me trouble? I would go out onto the stage in a huge orange fluffy; puffball like someone from District One wore one year if it got me home faster.

"I-" he looks back at me, grimacing.

Mags put a warning hand on Finnick's arm, "its lovely," she reassures me. "Can't you wear some stockings or something under it?"

A prep team member over hears this and produces a pair of smoky grey stockings smelling new and plastically. I put them on wordlessly. They begin to work on my hair, Finnick standing against the wall glaring. Brush it out hundred and fifty times, they pin it into a smooth low bun with some diamond clips and leave. After they are gone and we are alone, I round on him.

"What's the matter?" I snap. He grimaces, run his fingers through his hair.

"What is it?" I demand.

"They're going to hold your interview first more convenient for Snow apparently no one was suspecting it would be this quick. Don't flirt." He orders.

I don't like this at all. Flirting is the key to the capitol's heart. Finnick has been proving this for the last four years.

"Why not?" I say making my voice heavy and dangerous. He is not telling me something.

He ignores this "Don't flirt, be bland, don't be sugary, and be sensible. Just be nice but be…."

He looks so angry, I have never seen him like this he throws his hands into the air.

"You don't have to get anything off them anymore." He says. "Try and be forgettable." With that, he stormed out.

I look at Mags. Her eyes are following his path out, large and sad. "What the fuck?"

Not only is he almost asking the impossible, I am the victor for goodness sake. He has not even bothered to give me a reason why. I thought we were honest or honest-ish with each other. He had been fairly brutally honest with me on the night before the games. I was through with this madness.

She smiles and rings her weathered hands, twisting at her wrists. "I think he's a little nervous he's not used to having a victor."

I sit down back in the spindly leather make up chair and begin to put on my pointed dark satin courts.

"I don't understand."

Mags sighs, she still wrings her hands like an impulse she cannot stop. "I know," She begins.

"And I hope you never do."


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N Sorry for late update thank you for support, hope yoiuenjoy please review ect. Happy New Year! X**

In the end, I do what I am told. He is my mentor and so far, his advice has not harmed me, much. I pointedly do not speak to him when he sweeps in a smile plastered onto his face I can detect the little of line of stress at his mouth and forehead. At the same time I know the capitol do, not everything here is false. My prep team gather around me for a few brushes and flicks of lipstick and mascara. They raise and pinch my head and cheeks so I'm angled right for the cameras. When he comes in Caesar Flickerman, his hear, eyelids and lips gilded a pearly oyster colour a tribute perhaps for District four kisses my hand and sits me down on the black leather couch.

"All very simple just a couple of questions

A man crouching behind the camera counts down with his fingers.

Instinct wants to turn me into an ice Queen, Finnick's advice rings in my ears so I make myself bland.

"Every child in district four has to learn the tide times, well not so much has but they do anyway our lives depend on the sea." I smile in a way that feels like a grimace.

"It was very clever."

He wanted flirt, I would give him none of it, the intense satisfaction I felt when the ever present smile slid off his when he bent his head to his gold edged prompt cards was worth it all.

"What was your favourite part of the games?" He asked gleaming at me.

My what? I had forgotten about this question, the one asked of every victor. Was there any answer for the question? Why had Finnick not reminded me, maybe he thought the lie was obvious.

"Winning." I said "Winning."

"Ours too, ours too!" Caesar exclaimed making up for my lack of enthusiasm by gushing.

I do not smile.

"Are you looking forward to going home?"

"Well yes." I begin something catches my eye Finnick standing shoulder to the camera is gently shaking his head no.

"I mean that is to say, the capitol is very beautiful, quite wonderful you've all been kind." I say.

"You were very popular with us in the arena." He assures me.

"Thank you, that is thanks to all my sponsors in the capitol and of course from the districts. I am very very grateful." I say with a little nod at the camera.

When the interview is over, Finnick walks over to me.

"Are you going to tell me what the fuck that was about?" I whisper to him.

He shakes his head.

"Don't talk to me then." I say, if he does not trust me enough to tell me the truth, I couldn't care less I just want to go home.

He puts a hand on my arm. "The show,"

"What about it?"

"You're not going to like it."

I started laughing, "That makes a lot of changes then. Full of surprises aren't you Finnick."

We file out into the hall and take the lift down to the level where I trained out. Out of fear of crumpling my dress, I was sent up in the first elevator by myself. Alone at last, I take off my shoe and slip out Annie's pearl on its bit of string and hide it around my neck and down my dress. The lift takes me into a damp smelling under pass.

My prep team wade off to put on their outfits. I sit down in a chair and someone brings me an orange juice in a pretty glass, I slip the straw between my painted lips. Pretend it is not happening it is just another part of their games. I can disappear just like this. It would be only three hours this all… I survived three days in there.

"I think we should brush out your hair," My stylist says yanking out the pins and tucking them into her pocket.

"It's become quite famous lots of people are growing there's out." Well they're sticking in extensions for the three-week fashion fad while I am still bright and shiny.

I shrug as they comb it out and pile it over one shoulder. Nothing can touch me. I think that until they give us the ten second warning and place me on the gold podium and I realise I'm about to rise up to thousands of screaming capitol residents and the whole of Panem.

But, nothing in the world will stop it. Finnick goes up just before wearing a tuxedo and a green satin bowtie to show off his amazing eyes, he turns and gives me an agonized look before the capitol starts roaring. I grit my teeth and I rise and rise. Deaf with the sound of cheers, blind with the light of cameras and screens but I have stayed in my bubble and none of it hurts. I ushered, walk easily across the stage to a baroque styled red and gold throne. Caesar Flickerman is making his usual cheery introduction ignore it ignore it.

I am fine I am fine I am fine.

It takes me ten minutes once they start playing the highlights to realise that I have made an awful mistake. I can see the blood each individual droplet, I can see myself as if I have come out of my own body. How did I ever think I could sit here and watch this? I cannot bear it and I cannot watch them die. I look at my hands instead, I have very small hands like a babies. I wind my fingers together there was a beauty spot shaped like a star on the finger, which usually had my mother's ring on it and its gone they have perfected me. My heart starts beating so fast I can feel it. For twenty minutes I struggle with it, every sound has become unbearable. I would close my eyes but I refuse to let the bloody figures crawl into the blackness of my head as well.

I feel so sick I am sure I am going to die right here on camera with the rest of them and part of me wants to just to end this.

Then the sound begins it's a gasp, a disgusting wheezing sound I lurch forward in my seat look wild eyed at the screen ready to see another someone horribly dying. But it's just someone lying asleep under a tree. The sound is coming from me. The camera, which watches to capture the victor's reaction from time to time, turns away. In the box behind me, Finnick and the rest of my team are packed in. I thought they must have wanted to get him on camera. He reaches over and brushes his finger through my hair, the smallest and only gesture of comfort, hidden from the revolving eyes.

"It's just a panic attack." He whispered, then as if he could read my mind. "You're not dying just breathe Dana."

I try I draw in ten deep inhalations. I freeze myself my instinct wants me to hide in my hair curl up around myself on the ground. I do not I force myself to look at the screen I raise my head like a Queen.

I hold Lila in my arms… but I do not kiss her.

I open my mouth and then stab the boy from district five in the back.

I rise from the flames.

And the Capitol screams by name.

I rise for President Snow to crown me, he has always more the slightly terrified me. Reminded me of a fairy tale character Jack Frost with his gin-white beard and full toothed freezing smiles. He removes the usual rose he wears in his lapel and entwines it in my fingers.

"Thank you sir,"

"It's perfectly alright Ms Cresta."

Is it my imagination or is something dark trickling down the corner of his marble skin? but his head turns and it is gone.

I snake my arm into Finnick's as we make our way down the scaffolding. When he says nothing this time I think it is because he understands perfectly.


End file.
